以病為師 林鈺堂 簡繁轉換 - 繁體 對治病苦習調理，經歷折磨驗修行； 跋 八月中旬痔患一週，頗為辛苦。幸能遵醫囑調理、休養，而得早日康復。其間頗多學習、調適之心得，因此特為之記，以分享大眾。 有痔疾二十年以上矣。以往也曾因之隨大便出血。曾就醫治療，但皆蒙以線或橡皮圈結紮方式，局部處理而已。近來多年皆不成問題，只在便後需以手將痔推回而已。輕而易舉，不以為意。推痔回內，應先注意諸痔之相對位置關係，先推較內者，再循序及於其餘，則易成功。 八月十三日於通常兩痔之前方又新出一痔，幸而尚小，頗易推回。十四日，則頗經一番努力方能推回。當即電話醫院，留言給醫師，報告病況。十五日晨，雖盡全力，而無以推回矣！因即電話醫院求診，但依程序需先經過主治之內科醫師。十六日晨接護士代回之電話，以多年未見之故，醫師要我先見一面，由彼診斷。因此十七日方得見醫。彼見狀即安排外科門診，但當日已無空檔，若赴急診，又不知是否立即手術，而我一人赴醫，家中毫無準備，因此與醫協議，於次日下午方赴外科門診。 因此，有三日餘懸巨痔於外。其間由內子安排中空之座墊，而未停止法務，並校完〈無常面面觀〉之筆錄。十七日亦自行駕車來回醫院。十五日之夜間，覺十分燥熱，不斷喝水。因巨痔懸外，大小便皆困難，幸而知道泡熱水可使身體放鬆，暫忘牽扯之苦，並因之使得便溺順勢而出。十六日即覺身體已能適應新狀況，並能安眠。十六日白天站立時，忽然全身肌肉動作，像是要將痔往上拉回原位，但因痔巨而未成功。私揣此乃因為全身已鬆，所以身體能自行做調整的努力。 十七日回家，不知次日外科是否立即手術，因此以電郵請佛友眾改寄頗瓦及祈禱之請求至成穗處。此訊一出，頗多回覆申慰，或提供有效驗偏方及處理方法，或傳來〈佛說療痔病經〉以供誦持，或以佛課迴向，或祈請住世，或訂贈調養食品。而我於接下來一週內，只收電郵而未及閱讀。此等偏方包括：吃海帶；晨起前，以唾液抹痔並按摩之；每日下午四時吃三十粒葡萄乾，吃一個月。處理方法則大多推薦便後不用紙擦，只以水沖洗。至於動手術，有兩位親歷者說是可以一勞永逸，但也有中醫說會復發。食療則包括：氫氧加純水、分子共振水、蘆薈汁、以及用開水泡綠豆而喝其汁。 也有弟子謂此係代眾消罪苦，我則自認潛消宿殃，詳見近作〈分擔〉文內，其並謂因之警覺無常。無常乃學佛者應深切體會之客觀真相。學佛者易陷於自訂之範圍及行程上，而對事實之進展豈能盡如人意則欠缺體認。體會無常方易接受變遷，而得以超越自訂的局限。就追隨上師一事而言，應知上師亦非永久以肉身住世者，因此宜多珍惜親近承侍及從學之機緣，而不是視自己方便才隨興去沾邊。 十八日由姨妹載送，得見威廉斯醫師，彼將痔推回，並說我是完全放鬆的。醫囑當儘量臥床四十八小時，以助痔消。至於手術，則需待痔消後，再排時間。內子下班後趕至醫院，載我回家。當天之上半夜，歷經三日餘不正常體位之處處酸痛全現，但下半夜即能深眠三度。 十九日晨便後，痔再外懸，又是盡力無以推回。當天下午由姨妹載送，再赴醫院煩威廉斯醫師解難。醫囑當靜養一週，暫停工作。自十八日見醫後，即儘量臥床，並多行熱水泡浴。因而察覺兩腿坐處及肛門週遭皆有細脈因休養及熱浴而復通。足見以往休息之不夠。 十五日以來即食粥、多喝水。二十日故意不大解，以使痔多留體內，早得消縮。二十一日下午便後，痔又外懸，無以自行推回。因是週六，外科無門診，得赴急診，再由值班醫師調請外科住院實習醫生來處理。由內子載送前往，候診四小時方獲醫助，將之推回。此位王醫生乃華裔之年輕女士，彼循我口授威廉斯醫師所傳之方法，不久即大功告成。其法如下：先將諸痔及肛門四周塗以潤滑膏，再將諸痔同時以掌壓入，使之縮小，而後再將三痔依其出來之次第逐一推回。王醫生頗聰明，在推入最前之新痔後，即以一指將之按住，使不得再出，因此隨後即能輕易推回其餘。彼在推痔時，脫口讚歎：「完美的放鬆！」而我並未作意放鬆，只是身體自然常處放鬆的狀態。我在辭別時贈以陳上師主頁網址之名片，願結法緣，略達謝忱。 二十二日故意不大解。二十三日後，痔即大消，而得以輕易自行推回。至今已十餘日，一切作息皆恢復正常矣。並且早先兩痔多年皆甚鉅大，而今平復，近乎無物。新痔雖稍大，甚柔軟，一按即回。足見多年痔患，源於積勞而不知休養。一旦得到休養，身體即能自行調理矣！今後只需每日注意不過勞，多休息，即無復痔患矣！ 經此痔患，也學到大便時不要急於用力排便，而要待其蠕動，已積壓肛門，方使力讓其順勢而下。近來數年小便往往需待良久方出，特別是久坐之後。此次痔消之後，即不復有此問題。可見原先是因內痔腫大，長期壓迫神經，以致於斯。另一相關問題是，由於內痔腫大，過去數年我每天都會想要大便兩三次，自從痔消之後即不復如此。現在我每天都自然的只在早上大便一次。於此提及此等，以便有相同問題者亦得解方。 二十六日遵醫囑回診，威廉斯醫師很高興看見情況已轉大好。為表感謝，我即席贈以一時靈感所得之英語笑話，詳見近作〈感恩表徵〉文內。 痔患嚴重的一週期間，身體能很快調適，能入深眠，在醫推痔時能自然放鬆，精神一直保持清明、開朗，這些都是多年修行得益的驗證。 痔患突發，使得平日頻繁的電郵應對等皆頓然停息。平常輕易之行坐皆成不便之舉止。家中忽然少一可辦事者，而多一病患需時常加以呵護。凡此種種更彰顯吾人健全狀態之可貴及危脆，以及投入佛法服務之意義—以難得之健全身心做不求世間酬報之奉獻，以期推展眾生之離苦得樂，究竟解脫。 因病苦而去醫院多次，包括一次在急診處，加深了對世間病苦的體驗及感受。平日不以為意的回覆電郵等法務，在痔患深時，皆成負擔。因此記取教訓，不敢再久坐一一回覆。只得公告佛友眾，對於頗瓦及祈禱之請求，只會閱讀以及給予傳承之加持，而不再回覆，以減輕工作量，乞諒。 經過這次病歷，我了解了休息及調養身心的重要，以及對身體所發的警訊應有的尊重，因而不敢過勞。結果，病後的身心較前都更為精力充沛、精神飽滿。可謂因病得益，也足見此乃佛恩藉逆緣所賜之教導及加被。 病苦期間佛恩的加被，家人的全天候多方照料以及佛友眾的關懷及祈禱，使我能早日康復，謹此銘謝，以表感恩之情。 綜而言之，此次痔苦唯短暫一週，而我能以病為師，卻得益甚多且深，蔭及餘生。願此等獲益與眾分享，而撰此篇。願眾病皆短暫，而能經逆緣增上，領益綿延！
Illness as Teacher Yutang Lin Learning adjustments as remedies to sufferings of illness, Comment: In the middle of August my hemorrhoids became beyond my control for about a week, and it was quite an ordeal. Fortunately I was able to follow the physician's instructions to remedy the situation and rest, so I had recovered from this illness soon enough. Throughout this ordeal I had learned much about how to accommodate the situations and gained reflections on applications of Dharma; hence I put it down here to share with the public. I have had hemorrhoids for over twenty years. In the distant past there were also occasions when they bled along bowel movement. I sought physicians' help on several occasions, but always received only bending on some hemorrhoid with strings or rubber band. In the latest for many years they constituted no problem to my daily life; all I had to do is to push them back inside after bowel movements. It was so easily accomplished that it was no matter of concern to me. To push hemorrhoids back in one should first pay attention to their relative positions, and then push first the one that is innermost, and then the rest in the order of inner ones and then outer ones. Thus it would be easier to succeed. On August 13, in front of the usual two hemorrhoids there came out a new one. Fortunately it was still small and was easily pushed back. On the 14th, the hemorrhoids were pushed back only after quite a struggle. So I phoned the hospital, left a message for my regular physician, and reported to him the situation. In the morning of the 15th even though I exerted all I could till I was exhausted the hemorrhoids could not be pushed back by myself. Hence I phoned the hospital for appointment. According to the hospital procedures I needed to see my regular internal medicine physician first. In the morning of the 16th I received a phone call from a nurse on behalf of my regular physician. She said the doctor wanted to see me first because I had not seen him for many years, so he wanted to diagnose the problem himself. Consequently I got to see the physician only on the 17th. As soon as he saw the severity of the situation he arranged an appointment with the Surgery Department for me. However, there were no vacancy on that day, and if I went for immediate treatment, we did not know if they would operate on me right away or not, and I went to the appointment alone, and my family was completely unprepared for the possible operation, so I concurred with the physician that I would go to the Surgery Department appointment scheduled for the afternoon of next day. Therefore, there were over three days when those huge hemorrhoids were hanging outside. During this period my wife used towels to arrange into a u-shaped cushion for me to sit on, and I did not stop my Dharma activities but completed the revision of the transcript of my talk given in Mandarin in Melaka, Malaysia on "Aspects of Impermanence." On the 17th I also drove myself to and from the hospital. At night on the 15th I felt very dry in the mouth and kept drinking water. Due to the huge hemorrhoids hanging outside, both urination and defecation became difficult. Fortunately from my long experiences in dealing with hemorrhoids I had learned to soak in hot water to relax the body, and temporarily forget the pain and tension of unusual pulling here and there, and so I was able to relieve myself. On the 16th I already felt that my body had adapted to the new situation, and I could fall sound asleep. In daytime on the 16th while I was standing suddenly muscles of my whole body moved as if they were working together trying to pull the hemorrhoids upward, back into where they should be. The hemorrhoids were huge so the effort did not succeed. I figured that this was because my whole body had been relaxed through years of Dharma practices and hence it was able to make such moves to attempt self-readjustment. On the 17th once I was back home, I could not tell if I would be operated on the next day, so I sent out emails to Buddhists on my list, asking them to send Powa or prayer requests to Stanley Lam instead. Once this news reached people, quite a few responded with consolations, or offered special treatments that were known to be valid, or faxed me the Chinese version of "Buddha on Curing Hemorrhoids Sutra" for my recitation to receive blessings, or dedicated merits of their Dharma practices for my well-being, or pleaded me to stay in the world for a long time, or ordered helpful dietary products to be sent to me. In the week that followed I checked emails but did not even read them. The special treatments are: eat kelp; before getting up in the morning apply saliva to hemorrhoids and massage them; eat thirty raisins at 4 p.m. daily for a month; and not to use toilet paper but use only water to wash or flush after bowel movement. As to the prospect of operation two Buddhists who had had it recommended it as a way to be forever free from this problem; nevertheless, some Chinese medicine doctors said that hemorrhoids could still recur after surgery. The dietary supplements are: oxy-energy drops added to pure water, molecular resonant water, aloe vera juice, and green juice obtained from soaking clean mung bean in boiling water. A disciple stated that this ordeal was undertaken to reduce the suffering of sentient beings from their sinful karma; as for myself, I simply regarded it as an opportunity for me to reduce my past Karmic dues. For details on this please read my recent work, "Sharing Common Karma." He also stated that this incident tightened his sense of the urgency of Impermanence. Impermanence is an objective truth that seekers of Buddhist enlightenment should deeply appreciate through personal experiences. People on the Buddhist path could easily confined themselves within a self-set scope and itinerary but without the realization that actual evolution of events could hardly meet personal expectations. Only with a keen sense of impermanence could one face and accept changes readily, and thereby transcend self-set limitations and scopes. Applying this to the case of following a Guru, one should realize that a Guru would not stay in the flesh body forever, and hence one should treasure the opportunities to attend and learn from the Guru, instead of paying the Guru only casual visits at one's own conveniences. On the 18th my sister-in-law drove me to the hospital, and I got to see Dr. Williams. He pushed the hemorrhoids back inside and commented that I was completely relaxed all over. He instructed me to stay in bed as much as possible for the next 48 hours so as to help the hemorrhoids shrink. As to surgical operation, one needs to wait till hemorrhoids have shrunken to arrange for an appointment. After work my wife rushed to the hospital, and drove me home. During the first half of that night all sour and painful spots accumulated through over three days of irregular body positions showed up; nevertheless, for the rest of that night I was able to go into sound sleep for three times. In the morning of the 19th after the bowel movement the hemorrhoids again came out hanging, and again even after I had exhausted all my strength they still could not be pushed back in. That afternoon my sister-in-law drove me to the hospital, and I bothered Dr. Williams once more to help resolve my predicament. He instructed me to rest for a whole week and stay off work completely. Since I visited the physician on the 18th I stayed in bed as much as possible, and took hot bath often. Consequently, I became aware that the areas of my thighs where I sit on and the area around my anus had fine channels that resumed openness through the rest and hot baths. This indicated that I had not had enough rest in the past. Since the 15th I ate only rice porridge and drank lots of liquid. On the 20th I refrained from bowel movement so as to keep the hemorrhoids inside longer, and thereby to enable them to shrink sooner. In late afternoon of the 21st after bowel movement the hemorrhoids came out hanging again, and I still could not push them back by myself. Since it was Saturday, the Surgery Department was closed to outpatients, and one needed to go to the Emergency Room first, and then wait for the physician there to call the resident intern of the Surgery Department to come render the service. My wife drove me to the hospital, and it took 4 hours of waiting through the processes for me to obtain the help to push them back in. The intern, Dr. Wang, was a young lady of Chinese descent. Following my oral repetition of Dr. Williams' instructions she was able to accomplish the task in short time. The instruction was as follows: first apply lubricating creams on the hemorrhoids and areas around the anus, then use the flat of the palm to push all hemorrhoids simultaneously inward to reduce their sizes, and then, following the order of their coming out, one by one push the hemorrhoids back in. Dr. Wang was quite smart in that, after the first hemorrhoid was pushed inside, she used one finger to press on it so that it could not slip out again. Consequently, she was able to push the remaining two back in readily. While she was pressing on all the hemorrhoids, she exclaimed, "Perfect relaxation!" However, I did not make any effort to relax; it was but that my body was constantly in a natural state of relaxation. When she returned to say good-bye, I gave her a card with the website of Yogi Chen's Homepage on it, with the hope that she might thereby become connected with Dharma and so I could have thanked her in this way. On the 22nd I refrained from bowel movement. On and after the 23rd the hemorrhoids became greatly reduced in sizes and I was able to push them back in easily. Since then it had been over ten days and all my daily activities had returned to normal. Furthermore, the original two hemorrhoids that were quite large for years had now resumed a tiny appearance. The new hemorrhoid was slightly larger than them but very soft, and it would return base upon one push. Thus it clearly showed that my years of hemorrhoid problems were the result of accumulated overwork without proper rest and care. Once rest and care were sufficient my body could heal and readjust by itself. From now on I only need to pay attention to maintaining proper rest and care to my body, and I would not suffer from hemorrhoid problems any more. Through this hemorrhoid ordeal I had also learned not to push early during bowel movement, but to wait for the natural gentle movement to accumulate pressure on anus, and then push down upon the natural urge to release the pressure. In recent years I often had to wait for a while for my urine to come out, especially after long sittings. After the hemorrhoids had shrunken this problem had just disappeared. Thus I understood that the problem was caused by swollen hemorrhoids pressing on nerves and numbed the function to urinate. Another related problem is that, due to swollen hemorrhoids inside, I felt the urge to have bowel movement two or three times a day in the past few years. Since the hemorrhoids had shrunken this problem had also gone. Now daily I just naturally had one bowel movement in the morning. I mentioned these here so that people with similar problems could find a cure. On the 26th following the physician's order I went back to the hospital for re-examination. Dr. Williams was glad to see that the situation had much improved. As a token of my gratitude I offered him a joke that I got the inspiration on the spot; for details please read my recent work "Tokens of Gratitude." During the week when my hemorrhoid ordeal was most severe my body could adapt within short time to new situations, I could go into deep sleep despite the hardship, my body was naturally relaxed while the physicians were pushing the hemorrhoids back in, and my spirit remained clear and bright, all these were signs of benefits gained through many years of devoted Dharma practices and services. The unexpected emergence of hemorrhoid problem put a sudden halt on my usually busy daily activities such as emailing, corresponding, etc. Ordinarily very easy activities such as sitting and walking all became awkward posture or movements. The family suddenly had one less able body to help around but instead had one patient to care for constantly. All these illustrated the preciousness and fragility of our healthy states, and the significance of devoting oneself to Dharma services, namely, to dedicate the precious and rare state of a sound mind and healthy body to promote the well-being of sentient beings, without regard for worldly rewards, so that sentient beings might leave sufferings and attain happiness, and realize ultimate enlightenment. Due to suffering from this illness I visited the hospital several times, including once to the Emergency Room, and thereby enhanced my awareness and experiences of suffering from illnesses in the world. Dharma services that I normally performed without considering their load, such as replying to emails, all became burden during the ordeal. Hence, I learned from this lesson and would not sit long to reply to each and every email. Therefore, I announced to all my Buddhist friends that I would read and confer lineage blessings to all Powa or prayer requests, but will not reply so as to reduce my workload, and begged for their understanding of what had led to this option. Through this ordeal I realized the importance of proper rest and maintenance of body and mind, and the necessity of giving proper attention to warning signals issued by the body, hence I would not overwork from now on. Consequently, after this illness my body and mind are both more energetic and full of spirit. Thus I had benefited from the illness, and it was obvious to me that Buddha granted me guidance and blessings through such adverse situations. Throughout the ordeal blessings from Buddhas, constant care in many ways from my family members and concerns and prayers from Buddhists had enabled me to recover within a short time. Here I acknowledged my deep gratitude to all of them. In summary, the suffering from hemorrhoids lasted only a week, and yet I regarded the illness as teacher and had thereby benefited deeply in many ways with lasting effects that will help the rest of my life to become healthier. In order to share these benefits with the public I wrote this report. May all beings' illnesses be brief, and they gain through such adverse situations ever-lasting benefits!
[Home][Back to list][Illness as Teacher] |