苛責 林鈺堂

嚴詞窮逼逞自是,惹人難堪恁傷情;
憂懼凝積成翳障,聞聲見形轉趨避。
縱使居心純助益,溫語勸諭方易納;
時節因緣無勉強,兩相放鬆自然契。

苛責不見效益,反致心障與隔閡。苛責者往往難以自省其「自以為是」之偏狹。視野廣闊,則出乎溫語指點即足矣,又何需窮逼成對峙乎?


                     二○○二年七月廿三日
                     養和齋    於加州


Relentless Scolding Yutang Lin

Severe words relentlessly pushing to display self-righteousness,
Rendering others embarrassment that hurts feelings so painfully.
Worries and fears accumulated to solidify into mental deterrent;
Hearing sounds or seeing shapes one would turn away to avoid.
Even though the intention is purely to help and benefit the other,
Mild speech softly spoken to advice would be easier to be heard.
Time and conditions should be in harmony without being forced,
Relaxing both sides will sooner yield meeting of minds naturally.

Comment:

Relentless scolding would not yield beneficial results; instead, mental hindrances and psychological alienation could ensue. While pouring out scolding words one could hardly reflect and realize the narrow-mindedness in such display of self-righteousness. With open and wide perspective it would seem enough just to point out through kind words; why need to pursue relentlessly into a standoff?


Written in Chinese on July 23, 2002
Translated on July 26, 2002
El Cerrito, California


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